i'm pisSed!

okay! i'm pissed now!
now! i'm just the non important person in the home!
the important one is the one who will share his problems and telephone back home!
yes! i'm not so important after all!


just because i'm here his there!


FINE!

i know!!! i'm just the manja girl...
who always make nonsense...
who also bring problem...
who also have stupid ideas...
who also have stupid dreams ...
who wants to do dangerous thing like car racing that will most probably risk her health and life...
who will never share her problems or even just seek for opinion...
who will never remember to call back home when she is out somewhere far...
who's not able to make her own decisions on her own even she is a 18 now...
who's not going to be able to live some place except HER HOME ...
who's not going to be able to live alone..
etc etc


if i can die like that easily, then i am risking my life now just because of living U KNOW! it's so dangerous in this world with dieases, inccidents, accidents, etc etc! i would probably die the NEXT FREAKING SECOND!

just have to follow the path u choose! everything u think is GOOD! AND how dare u tell ppl u are giving me 100% freedom when i cannot even go out late, clubbing, drinking, travel on my own...even playing snooker is BAD!

U never knew that doing like this will make our relatives laugh at me!
and i dun like to be laughed at! DO YOU EVER KNOW THAT! i hate to be laughed at! i SERIOUSLY HATE THAT
i'm so protected that they even call me WWF(a non profitable organistion who protects animals)
I HATE WHO I AM!
i hate that i cannot decide my life
i hate that i don't know what i want
i hate that u are making me so materialistic until i know money is not everything but without money i'm nothing
i hate that i'm actually studying something that i put it in the "NOT TO DO" list when i'm small
i hate that i dun have my own choice
i hate that i'm so lost and dun even know who i am
i hate that i can't concentrate when i need to study like NOW
i hate that i never ever get praised when i get 100 marks for my exam
i hate that you said that 100 marks was what i was suppose to do
i hate that i'm having a so comfortable life until i'm so lost in no where!
i hate that i cannot argue with you and will start having tears
i hate that i will just simply start to cry when i am suppose to tell you my thoughts of my choice
i hate that u also think that you are the best model for others
i hate that u never knew that you were wrong
i hate that u think i'm actually liking what i'm doing
i hate that i'm not as smart as him
i hate that we are all going to end up the same
i hate that i'm going to step into the boring office life with countless of OTs
i hate that i cannot even choose what i want!
i hate that i know what you want me to be/do
i hate that my life is already sort of setted by you
i hate that i have to graduate so young and start working
i hat that i'm such a good girl when i am young
i hate that i cannot disobey what you tell me to do
i hate that i cannot support my own life to do what i want
i hate that i'm hating so many things already and it is not all






i hate everything in my life now!
i have no targets to achieve
i have no motivation to push me to study and i know money as the motivator is already not enough
i DUN KNOW WHAT I WANT
i want to just slack around until i know what i want! DO YOU EVER KNOW THAT







NOW! i even hate that i'm writing this over here and let everyone see this and know i'm such a clueless person for this 18 years i lived!



and hate that i just posted this...