TaG

after showing my EMOness here...
i think i should stop by ONE post...
hehehe
so... lets do a tag

Tagged by marcus aka yin hao

1. Besides your lips , where is the favourite spot to get kissed ?
har~ never get kissed before, how I know o?

2. How did you feel when you woke up this morning ?
don't want to get up but got up and went to T7 class because finals is on 2 of june

3. Who was the last person / people you took a photo with ?
erm... elaine? HAPPY BIRTHDAY ELAINE!

4. Would you consider yourself spoiled ?
yes... being the youngest child, i considered myself very spoiled

5. Will you ever donate blood ?
NO! i'm afraid of pain...

6. Have you ever had a best friend who was of the opposite sex ?
Yar...

7. Do you want someone to be dead ?
I'm not that bad to want someone to die! Just don't let me see him/her, that's all

8. What does your last text message say ?
haha! this is easy!
it was
OKAY!^^

9.What are you thinking right now ?
going to sulee's house to study tomorrow...
sulee, hope u can let me go kacau u la! but i know u dun come to my blog de! XD
i'll ask again tmr

1o. Do you want someone to be with you right now ?
yes. but if u mean someone as a specific person, then NO, cause... dun have

11. What was the time you went to bed last night ?
erm... 11?

12. Where did you buy the tee you are wearing now ?
haha! wearing pyjamas!
the most ideal place to buy it~ PASAR MALAM

13. Is someone on your mind right now ?
No...

14. Who was the last person who text you ?
Vormie...

TEN Lucky Person to do this
1. kelly ho
2. brenda
3. dini
4. wilson
5. freda
6. audrey
7. kim neo
8. yinx
9. chea ying
10.weng kee


15. Who is no.2 having a relationship with ?
Don't have I suppose~ XD
but if scandal, then got~ quite a number! o.O

16. Is no.3 a male or a female ?
female

17. If no.7 and no.1 get together , would it be a good?
NO! both are femaleS
I don't think they will want to be together!

18. What is no.1 studying about ?
CAT

19. When was the last time you chatted with them ?
1-5, today
other, long time ago

20.Is no.4 single ?
yes

21. Say something about no.2 .
motherly~ XD
she's my "mother"~

22. What do you think about no.3 & no.6 being together ?
not too good~

23. Describe no.9
er~ she's a fun friend~^^

24. What will you do if no.6 and no.7 fight ?
hahaha, they wont fight de la!
OH! or maybe they will! audrey, i just stand aside and wait for u can a?

25. Do you like 8 ?
yar~ too bits~ ^^

i cant!

actually~
i cant
i cant focus

and the fact hurts a lot
my parents dun support me
and it hurts

they don't like it
but i am the one who is living with my life
not them
why just cant they understand about this fact?

they cant be here living my life forever
i am the one living my life
why just i cant live the life i want?
why?
why do i have to suffer with my life with their choice?
why?

audition

as u already know that i am not satisfied with my life
and i am not studying for some unknown reason
after thinking and thinking and asking for some friend's opinion
so i've decided to go for an audition for Halo Forest's 1st acting class
if u don't know what is Halo Forest u can click here to find out about it


i didn't tell my parents that i were going for the audition
just some friend that i asked opinion for
AND i went alone there in a saturday morning~

so.. about the audition
i screwed it up in front of the teacher/judges
screwing things up... just the thing i would be doing
something expected
i tried to giv my best while screwing it up too!
how hard right... with my stage fear all those....
so... at that moment...
i told myself that i would 100% study hard for my ACCA!
and giv it all my heart...
these acting/star thing is just not my thing and i have no talent...
haiz... how sad






so...
today...
their people called me...
just like about 8pm
told me.. they recruited me for the acting class!
after i screw things up! how great~
but i' having my exams on june and i would like to focus on it....
so... i had nothing else to do but to reject the offer...
how sad~ a sort of dream come true thing just basically flew away...
haha~
and now... i can really focus on exams edi~ ^^ better wish me luck~

btw rm30 for the audition is really worthy~
i get to find the answer i had always wanted...

letting go

letting go of something is really hard...
in fact, I'm in trouble of that
I'm having trouble of letting go of decisions made 2 bloody years ago
I hope everyday that time could turn back
I hope that I get to stand by myself
but the FACT is time is still running away and I still cant stand by myself
How bad is it when you yourself cannot do what you think you should be doing
Afraid of being laughed
Afraid of how people thinks
Afraid of being the odd one with odd thinking giving stupid ideas
Afraid of wasting time and indeed wasting time now
Afraid of choosing and now hating what people choose for you

It really sucks when your parents ask you to choose when they already choose for you and actually is asking you to choose what they choose for you yourself
I know. The words are a bit complicated and long.
shorten it=
parents choose the way for you and force you to take it
easy enough?
how great are my parents....
told them since I was a bloody holly naive shitty child, teenager, whatever that I dont want to be an accountant
and now WHAT!
I'm future to be ACCOUNTANT~ so, YEAH! *claps claps
haiz.... talking to them is so hard...
just because I dont know how too...
I really suck in communicating....

I am the youngest in the family... u can say that I am being headstrong...
I can tell you, YES I AM
and I am going to blame them when they say I'm wasting my time
if I am counting, they've wasted my time since I got into secondary school....
and I am indeed pissed off of their so many ways of wasting my time...
I cant even sleep when these things come around my head!
I get so angry and furious until I cant go to sleep
I really blame them for making who I am now~
so coward, lack of opinion, timid, lost

there is so many things, so many that i hate until i cant list~
but guess what.... I still love them, as my parents...
I still love them

(i am so off the topic)



actually I wanted to say that I cant let go the fact that I gave up senior 3
and since I gave up on that, I have been wasting my time until NOW and still going on~
people might think I got my direction,
but the truth is I never had one
until now I regreted like HELL to listen to my family
I really really shouldn't have listen to them!
and I know that is the reason that is stopping me from studying and demotivating me
I get really really depressed of that
that is why I quit SAM and the reason why I hate ACCA
I really should have got back to you all when I quited SAM
NOW, this moment right now,
everyone had graduated, everyone is on their direction
and I'm still in the same place since 2007
I've stopped....