American Idol Season 10 Top 9

I was watching American Idol on 8TV just now and when Pia Toscano performed, my dad told me she was eliminated this round. I couldn't believe what he said and I went to googled it. It was true what he said and I just cant believe it.

I cant believe that Pia Toscano was eliminated from American Idol just like that! I am so angry and disappointed after I found that out. I genuinely thought that she would win this and be the next female idol after Jordin Sparks. I cant believe it. She's so beautiful, she is one of the best singers this season and among all of them she got eliminated? What has america done? I really did not get enough of her performance on stage. I really wanted to see what she'll brings on stage the next time, the next next time. Wanted to see what she can do more. How she can express herself, not gone so quickly.

Now, I seriously don't feel like watching American Idol anymore. It's no more fun watching it without her performance. It'll be less interesting and I think that it would be another male winner this season, again. I think just knowing who won Idol would be more than enough rather than wasting my time to watch the rest of season 10.

Now I think the judges wasted their save on Casey. It was way too early to use it for anything would happen. If they hadn't use it on Casey, they would have been able to save Pia. I think America had made a mistake not voting for Pia. Maybe they thought that she would be save on the bench as people would vote for her. But NO! That's just not right. To me, if you think she deserves it, you should vote for her. Support her for that least, let her stay on the stage. The whole result show was just not right. America forgot what happened to Chris Daughtry in Season 5. It is happening again and again. Even though he is a successful singer now, but I'd really love to see the best ones on stage win the thing.

Now I can surely say that I'm definately going to get bored by the rest of American Idol.

negativity

I really dun like the negativity in me.
But I really do hate where I am heading.
Why cant you guys just see it and give me a break?
How hard is it to give me a break?
You just rather have me wasting all my time on studying.
I'm feeling that you just rather have me wasting time on dragging on graduation by failing more and more papers.
You just rather have me feel bad about myself, my laziness.
Just never want to know the source of all these.
You just want to solve things without knowing the reason.
I'm just wondering. How the hell are you going solve them?
You think you know what is best for me.
You just wants me to do whatever you think is right and not let me try something else and taste the failure of it so I will go to the right track.


FML!

Goodbyes

why is a simple goodbye in different places mean so different.
shouldn't all goodbyes mean the same and feel the same?
Why does the "Goodbye" in the airport means more of a sadness?
and
Why it does not feel like the same as the one we use to say everyday even though they still mean the same.

Thinking

Thinking again..
Thoughts in my mind again...
Is it that I just can't accept the fact, or there's something waiting to be done?
Sunked in them again.
blah blah blah...

Typical

Ah... typical me again
Lazy to update my blog
I didn't update it for I also dunno how long
just... WHAT should I write here?
what i ate for dinner?
or, what class is like today
so boring....

then,
I'm not a sentimental person
I can't write my feelings beautifully
Well, when i try to, it actually turns out quite stupidly written
so, I just dun try to write, hence, no updates

oh! btw
I failed paper f4, law
and i passed the other 2
which makes me in quite trouble now
4 papers to take this sem
tonnes of study, tonnes of revising, tonnes of understanding and tonnes of memorizing

and which out of all those
what I actually did was
tonnes of slacking... that's all

Well, life is boring,
my blog is boring,
and so am I...
I am childish which I hope I can erase that out of my system
but it just, or I just don't know how to be matured
thus equals boring...

ZzZzzzz.....

Sin

I know I should be asleep by now. Actually, I was sleeping, lying on my bed, waiting to fall asleep. But just before I fell asleep, I thought of things I did wrong, decision I did which where quite foolish and made a BLACK spot in my life. Even though it is a few year later and I should be talking about it and laughing about it, but me, I felt even worst and stupid and idiotic.

It made a black spot in my past and not something to be proud of. Now, I just dun want anyone to mention about anything of it, not even a word. I just hope time can be turned back to that moment and let me make things right. But I know it is impossible, so as a weird part if me, I really hope everyone will just forget about it and never ever mention about it forever. But, the biggest problem is, those foolish moves had become one of my biggest nightmare. Please, DONT EVEN ASK ABOUT IT.

So, it made me thought and thought.
I found out sometimes I'm just such a jerk. I force my friends to do things they dont want to. I fell so selfish and ashame of myself. AND if anyone if you reading this post here had been force by me to do anything you dont want to, I sincerely appologise. I just don't know what I was doing at that moment.

For 19 years of my life, I found out that I really cant do anything thinking at the 1st moment things happen and I'll just do or say stupid things. All the thinking comes after I do or say. I tried to think before doing or saying, but my brain just freeze. Nothing comes out at the first moment and I had to react, or else the scene will not be able to continue.

All of those things that I had done had now become my biggest fear. I just cannot let it go, I dont know why it just stick to my brain and I'll remember about it now and then. I really can feel the sinfulness. It doesnt feel nice.

I really want to apologise to everyone of you for anything that I had said, done, caused anyone of you to be angry of me. Please kindly tell me about what I had done. You can call me or msg me to tell me. I'm ready to hear things I did that makes you dont like me ( I know no one can make everyone to like you, but I just want to know so that I wont be repeating the same mistake ). I need help to be a better person. Telling me can really help me to change. If in the future I still do things like that, please tell me so I'll know what to do and what not and stupid to do.

*This post is not specifically for any person but really for all of my friends.

Always as it is

despite all that i wrote...
i'm tired...
i want to rest